10. People can get off your back for drinking “just because” you lost your job. YAY!

9.  You got away with $8 worth of Christmas gifts for the kids since the school spent a whole semester on “Draw Backs of a Failing Economy”. Woo!
8. If you got this far without the swine flu, you’re probably in the clear.

7. The Taliban still hasn’t found you.

6. Per our new African American president: droopy pants are officially f-ing stupid.
5. The media is done trying to rhyme words with “John & Kate”. Great! …wait…
4.  Now that gay marriage is on in DC, Bush and Rumsfeld can have a legal engagement.

3. Whether it’s Obama or the end of the world- the war is over no later than 2012.
2. “Healthcare for all” means not being hogtied to that thankless job. Peace out nerds!
1. You FINALLY got a flat screen bitch! The future is now!

Last 3 posts by Carita Ellis-Espola

• Les Toil - December 31st, 2009
• The Latest Gossip! - December 29th, 2009
• Just Dance - December 22nd, 2009