1. Eliminate Toxins of ALL Kinds – whether it’s toxic chemicals (drugs, cleansers, smoke, FLU SHOTS -yeah that’s right flu shots. Stay away from those wretched things!), excessive news intake, or toxic people (co-workers, relatives, men/women), toxins are elements that hurt instead of help. If something, anything, is not helping, it’s hurting. Get rid of it as best and as fast as you can! You can’t save the earth without first saving yourself.
2. Do It Yourself! Stay Active. – Like it or not, the time has come for all of us to un-ass the couch. No, you don’t need a gym membership. Yuck. Nearly everything in this society is geared toward convenience. We’ve gotten so comfortable; we barely recognize how little we physically do. For most of us, it’s become next to impossible to burn the calories we intake in a day. You don’t even have to leave your car to eat. On our collective quest for the path of least resistance, we’re systematically shortening our overly cushioned lives. Try to assess the number of things in your life that happen from the comfort of a chair and change them. Simply identifying and adjusting things that were once a natural form of exercise, but now take zero effort (i.e. online shopping, food delivery, dryer vs. line drying, etc.) will add significant activity to your days. There is no reason to wait on a pizza delivery. It’s best to walk down and get it yourself. You know it’s true.

1. Laugh Dammit! – Nearly everything is funny in some way. If you’re not laughing some everyday, you need a whole new outlook on things. Even if you’re boss is an evil dictator who is hell bent on domination, but disguised as middle management in cheap shoes, it may piss you off a lot, but it’s kind of funny too. Rather than being sucked into an evil lair of toxic energy, remember the distinct process of karma (evil dictators will always fall), then draw a hilarious picture of said ridicobot and hang it on your fridge at home. Delusional people and bizarre circumstances are funny and meant to be laughed at. Resist the urge to be overcome with anger due to uncontrollable circumstances. Remember that you can only control what you do- no one else. Funny movies should also be part of your healthy diet (the word ‘diet’ is derived from the Latin term ‘diaeta’ which means ‘way of life’- recognize!). There are people who were born to amuse you and some have created art that makes laughter a better pill than Percocet.
2. Relax…Seriously – Sure you know how to sit back with a cocktail and put your feet up, but do you know how to avoid personal tension in the midst of people being a-holes? Getting your order wrong is not the worst thing that can happen. Nor is waiting, traffic, children, people’s dogs, their cats, or their annoying chewing habits. Start getting over it, and then learn to do it faster. Accept that you will spend a lot of time waiting and tolerating, and then you can relax without being all ridiculous and ram ass about it.
3. For Crying Out Loud, Get Help - Whether it’s glasses, friends, or therapy you need, don’t waste time suffering. The longer you allow yourself to be miserable, the longer everyone else suffers as a result. Energy – good and bad- are kinetic. When you’re relatively happy, you’ll inadvertently spread it to the rest of us whether you know it or not. When you inadvertently spread misery, the rest of us secretly despise you and talk about you behind your back.
4. Once and For All, Have/Get a Satisfying Job – We know this is easier said than done. We are from earth. Still, if you can’t have the job you love, love the job you have. If leaving your current position isn’t an option anytime soon ( If this is the case, you my friend are NOT alone), spruce up your resume, make a habit of consistently shopping it around and find new areas of your current position that make it worth having. Plan out your workdays to make them efficient, worthwhile, and we dare say- down right pleasant. If you can, music in your ears, even for a few minutes, always does the trick.
5. It’s Never to Late to Learn Something New, So Go and Do It - Keep your brain fresh by consistently adding something new. The body can not exist without the mind, so taking care of your mind means always growing and learning. When you change the way you look at things, things change. Try things you’ve never done and make it a habit. New music, food, places and people- update at least one of those things regularly. You will live longer; we promise. Have you ever heard of frisbee golf? Didn’t think so. You don’t know what you’re missing. The world is full of stuff like that which you’ve never heard of. Fight complacency.
6. Never Forget to Remember- Don’t forget, even in the darkest of times, all those clichés that have been overused because they have been proven true. If you are not lying on a dirt floor in Africa starving, or being shot at on a regular basis, you’re better off than a lot of people (and even those people manage to enjoy the life they have at times). Remember: appreciate what you have, you are special and unique just like everyone else, life is like a box of chocolates, drink plenty of water, opinions are like a-holes…everybody’s got one, pain is inevitable…and makes you stronger, dare to dream, just do it, you can fool some of the people some of the time- but not all of the people all of the time, treat others as you prefer to be treated, monkey see- monkey do, be the change you seek, Vogue, you are not alone, art is life, life is wonderful.

Last 3 posts by Carita Ellis-Espola

• In Honor of Kevin Smith..Southwest Gets The Finger! - April 28th, 2010
• Edgeplay: A Film About the Runaways - April 28th, 2010
• Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Cherry Bombs - April 28th, 2010