“I just had some bacon. Anybody ever had bacon before? It’s good. Oh, my greasy lover, bacon. It’s the best!”- Jim Gaffigan

fetish –noun
1. An object regarded with awe as being the embodiment or habitation of a potent spirit or as having magical potency.
2. Any object, idea, etc., eliciting unquestioning reverence, respect, or devotion.
Psychology- Any object or nongenital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation.

That was just so we’re all clear and there is no question about the term. We can only imagine what some of your fetishes are. Maybe your fetish is as light hearted as a house full of creepy rooster figurines or girls with glasses. Maybe your thing is a bit more subversive and leather floats your boat or maybe you orgasm at the site of a shiny red toe. These things are not unheard of. We’re also told that asphyxiation can be quite the treat, but if you regularly require a noose or a pair of hands crushing your trachea to get off, then you might want to assess and possibly reevaluate how and why your fetish came to be so …physical. No judgment here on bizarre, consensual sex…by God no. But if you’re willing to do that, you may also want to try base jumping. Should you smash face first into concrete, it seems like those present could have a slightly clearer conscience than someone who accidentally choked you to death for fun. Again, we’re not judging, just suggesting that you take others into consideration, even when it comes to your…let’s call it… “other-ness”.
We have finally found a fetish that even threw us for a loop, and believe me when I say that we’re not easily thrown. Seriously… we’re not. We’ve seen a real, full service stripper/hooker, dancing on a pole in a random club on her day off, while making out with her girlfriend, whom she simultaneously argued with about trying to have sex with her boyfriend, whom they both spent the night keeping an eye on so he wouldn’t overdose. BELIEVE US, we’ve seen plenty. There’s the vampire types who get off on their love of blood and can be a bit scary, but those Harry Potter people can be even scarier. Hogwart-mania is downtown central fetishville. Of course no one represents unnatural love like Trekkies. The only people who come even close to that fetish and sometimes exceeding it, are the animal humpers. There was an episode of ‘Clean House’ that showed one woman’s excessively, strange love of monkeys. Plenty of people like monkeys, but in her basement, there were in fact monkeys living there. Not weird until you factor in that she lived in Detroit. And then there was the woman who married the dolphin. Don’t get us started on her.
Some fetishes can not be explained without referring to another word: obsess–verb to dominate or preoccupy the thoughts, feelings, or desires of (a person); beset, trouble, or haunt persistently or abnormally.
While a fetish can exist without obsession, you can’t obsess without fetishizing (we are word smiths, creating words at will- take that!) something or someone. Be it a person, a team, a concept, or an item of some kind, we’ve got to figure out how some people put their hooks in certain oddities and can’t let them go. We say this because of that new one we were talking about- the one that threw us for a loop. How did this happen? Apparently some people….more than one apparently, are completely obsessed with….here it comes…. bacon. Uh-huh, bacon. Yup, we’re talking about the kind you eat. It’s usually a delicious treat for the average carnivore, but fetish worthy? Really? Apparently so.
Here we give you some clues as to what both fetish and obsession look like. Today we are using bacon, but who knows how deep your rabbit holes go. (If either of those words apply to you and the Jonas Brothers, that’s just disgusting and you need help. Ew! Gross! Go now and get help. GO! NOW! ) Today we’re talking bacon. Yes. Again we said bacon….the kind you eat. Buckle up bitches.

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