An Open Letter to Russell Brand: Dear Mr. Brand, I have finally had an opportunity to read your newest work, “My Booky Wook: A Memoir of Sex, Drugs, and Stand Up”. I have read many books throughout my life, but this is by far the best book I’ve ever read. It’s not just about the many diverse, insane, and emotional or touching things that have happened to you; it’s also about the way you say them. I love the fact that you knew enough to grab my attention on the very first page. I love that it’s written in your own Essex, London speak and that you offer references for the things I may not understand (although I still require a dictionary for some bits…you’d say bits right?). I love that you are so honest about all the messed up shit that you’ve done, and I love even more when you stop to apologize for it. I love that you offer tips for people who are thinking of: hiring prostitutes, smoking heroin, or becoming a huge success. I love that you didn’t manage to accidentally or intentionally kill yourself, despite all of your shenanigans. I love how you embrace every race, color, shape, view and gender (especially women). I hate that you were once in a rehab that is located within miles of my current home and that I didn’t know you well enough to track you down and offer you sex. I love how devoted you are to your friends and family. I hate the people who have been mean to you and I love the ones who were smart enough to escape when you were being an arrogant wank. I love that we are so much alike. I love, most of all, that with each riveting, tumultuous page, you never said anything that would deter me from trying to get you in my bed and wear you like a sheep skin coat. Please call me.

Signed,
Stalky VanPsycho Wiggins

An Open Letter to Our Readers: Dear Readers, go get this book- right now. Every second you waste not reading it really bothers me.

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