The Last Word:2006 VMA’s

1 November 2006 Christie Ortiz

vma06

The 2006 VMA’s: What the F@ck?!?!?!?

“I’m a white girl who can’t dance, but can only push my tush.”
-Jessica Simpson

Well well 3/12 hours later and a whole lotta suck paraded on the small screen &
we’re already on the post show and all I have to say…B-O-R-I-N-G. This year’s VMA’s were almost as bad as the first year they took them to Miami. Anyone remember Hillary Duff & The Simpson sisters? Yeah neither do I.
Almost as forgetful except for a few saving graces. Justin’s opening with Timbaland bringing all the sexy back, Christina’s smoke filled ballad and the tribute to Hype William’s with Busta, Missy, Kanye(and his ego), Nas et al.

The best parts of the show no one seemed to appreciate…Sarah Silverman digging into Paris Hilton, Pink being a “stupid girl” while she accepted her award for the song of the same name while Nicole Ritchie stood blankly behind her not even realizing she IS the stupid girl Pink was referring to in the song and looking so hungry it appeared as if she was contemplating covering the moon man in pancake syrup and taking a bite, Britney & K-fed pretty much being the white trash they never said they weren’t and seeing the PussyCat Dolls mirror a scarier version of the Spice Girls oh so many years ago. Did anyone hear them thank the man upstairs for winning for “Buttons”(every strippers theme song since its release)? I did. Oh and let’s not forget the nomination of Nick Fag-Shey for “What’s Left of Me”.DO NOT make me go there again. Oh! Oh! and I almost forgot the winner of Best Female Video. Nominees were, Madonna(the queen), Nelly Furtado(hotter than canadian bacon + portuguese), Christina Aguilera(the best voice from a half white, half hispanic girl you’ve ever heard) and drumroll please Kelly Clarkson(um..American Idol). Guess who won? No really…guess. Yeah…it was Kelly. Nothing against Ms. Clarkson, but ‘Because of You’ vs. ‘Hung Up’, ‘Ain’t No Other Man’ and ‘Promiscuous’ ? C’mon!!! C’mon!! The remix of ‘Since You Been Gone’ (the one they play in the gay clubs, not the dumb one I’ve heard elsewhere) maybe, but ‘BECAUSE OF YOU’!?!?? Who’s voting for this? My mom? I hope not, because she looooooooooooooooooves Clay Aiken and THAT cannot be a prerequisite for being on the panel.

All of the good humour seemed to fall on deaf ears, the same way Al Gore’s message about the environment seemed to go in one earhole & out the other with this crowd. They wanted their music and politics the same…watered down, vapid and not pertaining to them. Did anyone notice the difference between Fall Out Boy, Panic At the Disco and All American Rejects? They might as well have been in the same category as Jessica Simpson and Kelly Clarkson(wait..they were). Music for the mindless masses. I’m sure there are people who are going to argue & talk about about their lyrics and song styling(puke) to differentiate them, but if you played all of their songs one right after another you’d swear you’re listening to the same cd. Don’t lie…you know it’s true. Just don’t hate me for pointing it out.

I did laugh alot tho at the various ridiculousness going on in front of me and I think I almost got my VMA drinking game perfected, so the night was at least somewhat productive.